Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
