Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
