guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
