My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
