He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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