Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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