well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
