with your own penis?
Yo dont text me then not text me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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