Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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