Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
