I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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