Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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