He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
