We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
