all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have aggressive nipples.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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