Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we're making bets on your personal life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
