No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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