I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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