We're like a lot better than the average bears
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize