Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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