I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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