After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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