I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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