She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize