all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize