You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
