Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
