She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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