You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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