after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We talked him into tasing himself.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
