ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
