i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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