worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
