operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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