ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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