Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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