fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
