so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
