hell yes lets make some ravioli
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
