it's too hot outside to masturbate.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
