i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
