At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
