he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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