Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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