Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
