took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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