goodnight i made you a song goodbye
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
