HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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