We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
