yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
