Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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