Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
