she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
