we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
