mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
