Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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