i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
