to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
