you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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