Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
