Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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