i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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