I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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