3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize