This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
