We named our party play list daddy issues
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
