it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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