BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
