I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize