Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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