it wasn't lemon gatorade
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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