I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
