he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
