shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
