Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on

(908): View more from New Jersey

I knew I fell for you for a reason

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(718): View more from New York

He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday

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(360): View more from Washington

In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

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(901): View more from Tennessee

At least you have booty calls.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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(703): View more from Virginia

Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...

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(303): View more from Colorado

You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.

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(813): View more from Florida

Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.

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