I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
